Dear Mr. Mailman
I realize that our mailboxes aren't large enough to fit shit in, but you don't have to cram stuff in there like you're on fire! Someone is always home and my door is 6 inches from the mailbox, use your hand and knock! I enjoy receiving torn magazines or broken netflix, it seriously makes my day!
I LOVE when you take vacation and are replaced with a younger, much nicer mailman, who has the decency to knock on my door and give me my 20 magazines and gazillion letters. But seriously, he at least had the brains to suggest I complain to the apartments about the just big enough to fit a letter mailboxes. Not to say they give a rats ass or would do anything!
Also, can you try and come at a regular time? I'm not saying you have to be at my mailbox at 4pm everyday, but at least showing up daily would be nice. That time when your mail truck sat in front of my house until the following day, but I never got any mail....that was pure torture.
You see, the mail is my one surprise I get every day. I never know what kind of junk I'm gonna get, and very rarely I get something free in the mail like spermicide or laundry detergent and believe me I jump for joy every time!
Last week when my husband took the mail key to work with him and I wasn't able to access my mailbox for 24 hours was unbearable, i practically stalked the mailman's movements until I heard the racket outside my door signaling his arrival. I quickly covered my exposed lady parts and ran to the door, begging him to unload my mailbox in my shaking arms, awaiting my fix.
We have a love hate relationship my mailman and I, in a constant battle to catch him before he crams my fragile netflix in the tiny hole they call a mailbox, but i appreciate him freezing his niblets off year round to deliver my free spermicide and laundry detergent. Maybe I'll make him a gift basket with all my free samples next year, spermicide or not ;)
Until next time! Stay salty!
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